Apparently - GOD has a Sense of Humor

Taking care of my father has become quite a formidable task. Every day has new challenges as his Alzheimer’s continues to advance. It will now be three years in May since I started to take care of him. In the beginning he was still able to walk by himself and tend to his garden among other things. Unfortunately, I have seen first-hand both his mental and physical decline. Mentally, he appears to be in a constant state of confusion, not knowing the difference between a spoon or fork, his bedroom and the bathroom and whether I am his son or brother or, at times, his father (he has referred to me as all those names). Physically, his ability to walk has degenerated to the point that he needs a cane, moreover, he will probably need a wheelchair soon, very soon.

Surprisingly he has some wonderful moments of lucidity where he appears to be pretty normal. Unfortunately those moments appear when we have guests who thereby think that I am crazy for claiming that my father is ill. Of course those visits are generally brief so that our guests may go away with mistaken impressions. On the other hand I am with my father 24-7; and his behavior varies hour from hour.

Like the time I heard a splashing sound at about three in the morning when apparently my father thought the hallway was the bathroom and he proceeded to urinate in a planter (the plant though bewildered survived that encounter). Or the time my father decided to hide in a closet while I went crazy trying to find him. Or my father’s daily extensive conversations on politics and society… with our parrot (named Henry). I am expecting Henry to answer him back any day now.

In the last couple of weeks a new pattern of sleeplessness had emerged in my father; consequently leading to a constant pattern of sleeplessness in yours truly. I contacted my father’s doctor who then prescribed some very strong sleeping pills. Well now he sleeps so deeply that he actually begins singing very loud at about three in the morning sound asleep. Actually, I’ve gotten rather used to his early morning serenades.

Speaking of doctors, It has become quite apparent that their attitude (when dealing with seniors) is somewhat patronizing. It is as though they would rather deal with younger patients. Almost as if they do not really care. I mean my father’s health program does not even have a geriatric’s department. Everything is geared to the younger components of our society; even medical care.

Suffice to say that GOD has placed me in my current situation and I gladly (though at times quite tiredly) accept this challenge. I have lost many job opportunities, I have lost some supposed friends, but I have gained so much more than I have lost. My perspective on taking care of my father is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be; doing the right thing for the right reasons. Moreover, if I have contributed in making my father’s life a bit more comfortable because of his situation, then in turn his situation has enriched me in a way that I would never have imagined. I would never trade my current situation for any other “job” or circumstance.

At the end of the day the pure good spirit that was my dad still emerges from time to time; and he let’s me know that he appreciates my efforts. That is reward enough. Though I still can’t get used to changing his diapers; oh well no one is perfect I imagine.