Wednesday, September 30, 2009

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH
50 and your dreams are gone...

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into ! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6... The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Very Interesting

In the past week or two, my father has started following me throughout the house. He used to sit in the patio after a bit of gardening -but now he follows me (without saying anything), he sits in a nearby chair to my office, the kitchen, the living room, etc. Yesterday I gave him a coloring book to distract him, but he just picked up the book and followed me into the next room and continued coloring. I hope that it is just a phase. We will soon see. The trouble is that most of his past hobbies do NOT interest him. He has stopped playing dominoes,TV is not for him (except at night). He does enjoy his daily walks, yet he can't walk the dog anymore and he can't walk alone since last year when he kept walking and almost got lost. He does enjoy his pet birds or should I say bird, since the female parrot flew away this past Saturday. I need to get a replacement bird.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Toilet Troubles

Our main bathroom's toilets got really plugged up last week, so I went to work at fixing it. It took me a few hours - but I was able to dislodge whatever had plugged it up. So I was really surprised yesterday when again, it was plugged up.
"Dad, what have you been dumping in the toilet?", I asked - and immediately he responded, "Why, nothing, it must be someone else." - he replied.
But, my Dad also added: "Unless you mean the trash from the trash can in the bathroom." -
Needless to say, after sending a drill pipe down into the deepest part of our primary toilet and fishing out a sock - among other, needless to mention items, once again our toilet was functioning properly.
Such is the world of a caretaker in the terrible world of Alzheimer's. I would cry, but I prefer to laugh.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Kindergarten for Dad

After almost two weeks, I am almost finished with the re-painting of Dad's room and a second room (which was mine when I was a teenager). In its most recent incarnation it was used as a guest room that looked straight out of the 1970's.

My thought after the painting and clearing out of accumulated "stuff" was that I was going to use the second room as either a newer, finer looking guest room or as a small family room (but come on, it is just pop (Jesus) and me (for the most part). So last night (3AM to be exact), I had what can only be defined as a DIVINE INTERVENTION! Why not face this debilitating disease HEAD-ON, yes folks, why not convert the extra bedroom into what will amount as a one-room classroom for Dad, a kindergarten for a senior citizen! I mean actually set it up as a modern classroom.
Homeschooling for seniors!

Why not? The medications that his doctors have been prescribing to him (within what can only be described as an assembly line attitude) have apparently not been working as well as anticipated.

Add to that, that we receive no additional support from our local, state or federal governments; even though my father is a veteran of the Korean War. Most recently, our California governor, stopped most assistance to California seniors. I mean, the paperwork, the red-tape puts me in a mindset that outside of placing him in a nursing home (no way!)I have no other options but to take things into my own hands and be more proactive in fighting the onslaught of this terrible disease HEAD-ON.

My father is in the fickle position that his retirement pension is too high to qualify for any minor assistance programs, but really too low to solicit other options. Adult day care is beyond our capabilities; moreover, even the medical insurance companies do not see us as a family unit (as a household - go figure), because I am the son living with his father, therefore they would charge us two fees as if we were two families living under on roof.

For as much as we pride ourselves about our country, after living this experience first-hand, I say that we do not care about our seniors the way most civilized nations tend to.

Therefore, hopefully I shall be finished with my little home-schooling project later this week, and I am going to read my dad more children's' stories, the alphabet, play games with him that remind him of his name, of family members, remind him of the day of the week (or the current year for that matter), but I do not intend to give up on my father - until I have tried everything humanly possible.

He deserves that in the very least.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Brief Note to MY Daughter

Roxana:

Thank you for your words and congratulations on being so busy with essentially fun stuff and activities. This has been a tough week for Tito and me, as we essentially said goodbye to my Uncle Tony (Tia Bertha's husband). The service was this past Monday at the Catholic Church in Bonita. My first job was as a dishwasher at his Casa Don Diego Restaurant when I was only 16. He was a very great guy, he knew your Tito and Tita when they were teenagers. Anyway,I just got dropped off by a tow-truck since my pickup blew it's rear tire (and the tire was relatively new). So I panicked because I never leave Tito alone for more than a few minutes, but I dropped off a friend at the border this morning (after lending him my truck) - I was in shorts, had not yet shaved or bathed it was supposed to be a quick drop off - I ended up borrowing a Border Patrol officers's cell phone to call the tow company and my aunt Elsa to check on my dad. All turned out okay, but I was soooooo desperate about my Pop being alone for that brief moment. Somehow I felt like I messed up. I should NEVER leave my dad alone. NEVER! Anyway, more to tell ya, but I will save it for that next SPECIAL day that I get to see you and Jessica.

Love,

Dad

P.S. "Tito" and "Tita" are terms of endearment for "Grandfather" and "Grandmother" ---- respectively.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Balancing Act

My Pop and I just got back from the Home Depot. This particular store was my father's regular hang-out; what with having been a carpenter in the past, he loved to go there and check out the new merchandise. Unfortunately, today I had my share of surprises when my Dad almost fell down twice in the store. He walks with a cane, but he is having increased difficulty in maintaining his balance. His doctor told me that this was to be expected, as a lack of depth perception is another symptom of Alzheimer's Disease, in addition to the very expected memory loss.
Outside of putting him in a wheelchair, which I would like to delay for as long as possible, I do not really know what to do.
I am curious as to what percentage of Dementia and Alzheimer's patients develop serious problems in keeping their balance, when walking from point A - to point B. I have not heard of too many complaints regarding this (balance) issue, so I am very dismayed that my father is having such a hard time (just in walking).
I took him to Denny's for a late lunch afterwards, and I had to fish out a conversation, as he sat there nibbling on his sandwich; apparently, lost in thought in a word faraway from my world. His symptoms are getting worse. Moreover, I am getting tired and anxious at the same time. I miss not having my Dad with me like in the old days. The man I have living with me is, unfortunately, a shadow of the man I knew before.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I am doing worse in taking care of him in his own home, rather than placing him in a nursing home. But, I think that action would contribute to a worsening (even more) of his condition.
Sometimes, I just do NOT have the answers. I wonder if this is normal?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Please Go FIGURE!

Today I received an e-mail from one of my friends (who happens to be a doctor in Spain); where he highlighted some very interesting worldwide facts on the global use of medicine:

'En el mundo actual, se está invirtiendo cinco veces más en medicamentos para la virilidad masculina y silicona para mujeres, que en la cura del Alzheimer. De aquí a algunos años, tendremos viejas de tetas grandes y viejos con pene duro, pero ninguno de ellos se acordará para que sirven'.

TRANSLATION:
'In today's world, there is an investment of five times greater funding in medicines that are for erectile dysfunction and breast augmentation than in searching for the cure for Alzheimer's Disease. Therefore, in a few years we shall have older women with large sexy breasts and older guys with hard penuses and neither of them shall remember what these elements are good for...'

Go FIGURE!!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Such is Life

I have not written much in my blog about taking care of my Pop recently, because, well, I have been taking care of my Pop. His disease has progressed quite seriously in past few weeks, allowing me for very little time to write in my blog. Moreover, I am exhausted by the time he goes to bed.
Don't get me wrong- physically, he is doing great. His appetite is good, he looks as handsome as ever, but his problems with memory and his balance are getting noticeably worse. He has started doing things like trying to brush his teeth with shaving cream instead of toothpaste, or putting away dirty dishes with the clean ones, or getting up in the middle of the night and trying to go outside.
I have to be with him, or at least close to him, in order to avoid any potential mishaps.
His depth perception (when climbing stairs) is terrible. I guess, that, in other words, his overall abilities are now much more impacted by his dementia, by his Alzheimer's.
A fact which was confirmed by his new doctor very recently. Fortunately, this new doctor appears to be much more proactive, rather than reactive, when it comes to controlling his situation. We are starting some new meds and some new exercises that will hopefully help.
I feel, like a bit overwhelmed at times; it is getting harder and harder to watch over him without becoming totally overbearing. I now have to help him with his bathing; and just a week ago, I commenced putting him in adult diapers (at nighttime) after a few "accidents" --- a fact which he has accepted better than I thought that he would have.
I should have been better prepared to deal with this overall decline in his situation, but I just thought that we were doing so well. I did NOT think that this diminishment of capacity would come so quickly.
I guess that I will continue to roll with the punches, but I do not wish this situation on anybody; it truly drains your energy in a very fickle way. Essentially, I am a prisoner without my own life to live. Yet, when I see him smile, when I see him happy and comfortable being in his own home; when he tells me that he loves me at bedtime - well as corny as it may sound, it makes all of my efforts well worthwhile. He is my father and I promise to continue taking care of him as long as I am able to do so.

Taking a vacation in a high crime city! No way.

By Patrick Osio

You're planning a vacation trip; you want to stay relatively close to home, no overseas travel, not this year. Maybe Mexico or in the U.S. – but it has to be affordable and with plenty to do. So you’re reading about some cities. You find one of interest, but on reading other information lo and behold you find that the chances of becoming a crime victim in that city are 1 out of 4 – a whopping 25% chance of being a crime victim. That ended that city as a destination.

You select another city, it sounds interesting, but now you also want to check up on how safe it is. Oh my gosh, you read that the chances of being a crime victim are also 1 out of 4. Scratch that one too. You go to the next city of interest, this one has great beaches, from good to excellent sea food restaurants, but before you book rooms, you check the safety. This one is better but still the chances of being a crime victim are 1 out of 5 – a 20% chance. What the heck is going on? Scratch that city.

Now you start checking other cities but begin with the safety factor first – you find that some are 1 out of 7, or 1 out of 8, or 1 out of 9, or 1 out of 10 – one out of ten people that’s 10% of people being victims of crime in that city – that is scary you think and decide maybe you and your family should stay home.

The cities checked before giving up are Chicago, Cincinnati, Miami, Jacksonville, Baltimore, Kansas City, Memphis, Dallas, Richmond, St. Louis, Little Rock, Philadelphia, Tampa, New York, Orlando, Cleveland, New Orleans, Los Angeles and Detroit – you had no idea that the chances of being a victim of crime in those cities was that high. What an eye opener.

But is it really an eye opener or are those cities "guilty by association"?

All the mentioned cities are great places with much history and plentiful things to do and enjoy. The high crime rates are true, but within certain, but not all in fact few, neighborhoods in each of those cities. The odds for being a victim of crime in those neighborhoods fall on the neighborhood residents not the tourists who visit the city and don’t travel into those affected neighborhoods.

New Orleans and Miami, as examples, were suffering from a drop of tourism due to high crime reports leading city officials in New Orleans to explain that the French Quarter where tourists congregate and spend their visiting time are very safe provided they are not involved in criminal activity. All cities mentioned are victims of generalization that the media portrayed and people believe that the entire city is not safe due to some neighborhoods having high crime rates.

Similarly, Baja California has been victimized by an unknowing, some would say insensitive, press that Tijuana, with a population nearing 2 million, covering over 400 square miles with dozens of neighborhoods, has neighborhoods with high crime rates wherein the drug cartels are entrenched, but it does not affect the entire city. Where tourism congregates is relatively free of crime, and other than petty thefts, most other crimes against tourists are negligible in proportion to the number of visitors.

The press reports high profile gang wars, and law enforcement shoot out encounters with drug cartel members as though it is the entire city by not identifying affected neighborhoods or even the size of the city where these confrontations take place. Like the French Quarter of New Orleans the Tijuana sections wherein visitors congregate are as safe as the French Quarter.

It is unfair to generalize about the entire city of New Orleans, Miami, Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, Dallas and all the others due to high crime in some of their neighborhoods, it is also unfair to generalize about Tijuana.

It is an even greater injustice that in generalizing about Tijuana the nearby municipalities of Rosarito Beach, covering close to 200 square miles, and Ensenada, a giant at over 20,000 square miles of territory, are drawn into the same generalization as Tijuana because travelers are under the impression that to reach them they have to cross Tijuana – not true, but the US press has never corrected the perception. Going to Ensenada from the US-Mexico border one takes a highway that skirts around Tijuana to a very safe toll scenic highway to both Rosarito Beach and Ensenada. Like in Los Angeles, using a freeway that crosses Watts (350% greater homicide rate than rest of L.A.) on the way to Disneyland.

These types of generalizations hurt everybody – the potential visitor to a great city in the US or Baja California because they miss out on a great experience; the city who loses the income that is spent by tourists that create employment and better life for residents; and by workers whose livelihood depends on visitor’s expenditures.

Read more news by Patrick Osio